Back To Good
by DarkDreamer56
Summary: NS Friendship. Sara's not exactly sure what's going on anymore, post The Unusual Suspect.


Title: Back to Good  
Author: DarkDreamer56  
Archive: If you want it, ask please!  
Rating: T  
Pairing: N/S Friendship  
Disclaimer: Don't own them, I just like to play with them and then return them (mostly) unharmed.  
Spoilers: _The Unusual Suspect_ (6x18)

A/N: This fic is part post ep, part exploration of Nick's interaction with everyone in the past couple eps. Hope you enjoy, I should have another fic up either tonight or sometime tomorrow.

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Sara barely remembered the drive back to CSI. She had probably sat at PD for a good ten minutes after Hannah had walked away, staring blankly at the hallway the girl had disappeared down. Her thoughts were so consumed by the manipulative Hannah West that she nearly missed the turn into the lab parking lot. She hastily pulled her Denali into the nearest parking space, and killed the engine with a sigh. A million emotions were swirling around inside of her; her last interaction with the small prodigy had left her off kilter and very uneasy. Not only had Hannah played her, but the twelve year old had completely seen through Sara and pointed out her biggest fear.

Logically, Sara knew that she wasn't going to become a murderer simply because her mother had stabbed her father to death, but she also knew the effects of growing up in an abusive household. She had spent most of her life not succumbing to those effects, and she had largely avoided becoming just another domestic violence statistic. But the scared twelve year old that sometimes overrode her more logical thought processes couldn't help but wonder if she was capable of turning into her parents.

Sara briefly leaned her head against the steering wheel, trying to will the thoughts running through her head away. She had come a long way in the past year, but she couldn't deny the appeal of stopping for a rather large bottle of vodka on her way home from work. Realizing that was just not an option, Sara groaned and pulled herself out of the car. Sitting there would only further the spiral of her thoughts. It was the end of shift, but hopefully by the time she dropped of her paperwork, got her stuff, and clocked out, her head would be clear enough to head home, without pit stops, and crawl into bed.

Ten minutes later, she was entering the locker room to stow her stuff, surprised to find Nick sitting on the bench, his back to her, staring at the bay of lockers in front of him.

"Nick, you okay? I thought you left already…you were on before we even started shift…" Sara was surprised to see Nick still at the lab. He'd been on call for court even before they'd started re-examining the case, and Sara had lost track of the number of shifts they'd worked through.

Nick turned at the sound of her voice, regarding her for a moment and sighing. "Nah, I'm fine, just about to head out now."

"That was a rough one…" Sara trailed off awkwardly, unsure of how to ask Nick how he was doing without coming out and asking how he was doing. Sara had learned early on that Nick didn't particularly enjoy, or respond to, direct questions like that anymore, but as off kilter as Sara felt, she wanted to check on him.

"Yeah, I'm gonna spend my next few days off catching up on sleep…" That's not what

Sara meant, and she knew that Nick knew that, but he still shrugged off her implied question, and pretended the only effect the case had on him was sleep deprivation.

Sara couldn't really read the expression on Nick's face, other than exhaustion. Unfortunately, that wasn't something new. Things weren't exactly strained between the two, but there had been a definite shift in their relationship, in the way Nick interacted with her. Sara couldn't pinpoint exactly when it had happened, but things were different. It wasn't just Sara though; Nick's relationships with Catherine, Greg, and even Grissom had seemed to undergo the same type of transformation. Nick wouldn't admit that something was getting to him, a habit that Sara wondered if he had picked up from her; Sara had become a pro at pretending things didn't affect her.

Sara missed the friendly banter and the idle chit chat while working a case. Nick was always the utmost professional at crime scenes and back in the lab, but the spark in his eyes seemed to have dimmed, and Sara wasn't sure it would ever return. It made her sad to see her friend closing in on himself, but Sara had no idea what to do to fix it.

"I know it's been a long shift, or shifts, I guess, but you wanna grab something to eat before you go home and crash?" Sara wasn't sure why it struck her as urgent when she was practically falling asleep as she stood, but she really wanted to try and get back some of their old friendship, and she really didn't want to go home to her empty apartment and dwell on Hannah West.

"Raincheck? I'm real tired…I just want to head home." Nick averted his eyes from her for a moment, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Yeah, sure, that's probably a good idea," Sara rambled, trying to hide her disappointment by crossing the room quickly and opening her locker. She rustled around in it for longer than was probably necessary, stowing her gear and throwing a few things into her purse to take home.

She must have sighed one too many times, because the next thing she heard was Nick asking her, "Sara, are you okay?"

There was a detached quality to his voice, almost as if it was a perfunctory response, completely unlike Nick. Sara wasn't sure if it was because he was too tired to muster up any appearance of concern, or if it was another result of the change in their friendship. Or maybe Nick was mad at her for disagreeing with him on the outcome of the case. Nick and Sara had had differing opinions during several cases, but they had never let it get between their friendship. But with the way things had been recently, Sara wasn't sure that would be the case this time.

"Yeah, I'm fine." _Except I'm not_, she added to herself as she slammed her locker shut, feeling worse than she had driving back to the lab. That liquor store right around the corner from her apartment was looking better and better. "Get some rest."

Nick's voice stopped her as she neared the door. "How'd it go with Hannah?"

Sara turned in the doorway, willing the tears gathering behind her eyes to stay there, at least until she got to the safety of her locked car. "You were right," she called softly, wincing at the hitch in her voice, but unable to stop the stream of words that followed. "Marlon did it. That's what she told me…that it takes someone smart to get away with murder, but someone even smarter to make people believe something happened that never did." Sara sighed again, fidgeting with her purse and turning her head so Nick wouldn't see the tears she was trying to fight. "I don't know, maybe she was just messing with my head again…apparently she's pretty good at that. But you were right...you should know that."

Nick sighed again, curling his fingers around the piece of bench on either side of him. "Just because I was right, doesn't mean you were wrong. She coulda still had a hand in it."

"But we couldn't find any solid evidence to prove that…you didn't bite, but I still believed her…" Sara's voice was close to cracking again, and she wished that she could just shut up and continue on her way. Still, she found herself staring at Nick, waiting for him to say something. Needing him to say something, to hear that he wasn't mad at her for disagreeing with him, even though it shouldn't matter to her at all.

"Sara, we both followed what our instincts were telling us. Too much time went by to know which kid was home at the time of the murder, and I hate to say it, but she had all the right answers. At least enough to throw off the case. So our instincts were what we had. And usually, our instincts are telling us the same things…this time they weren't. It happens." Nick shrugged. "You can't beat yourself up over it."

"Yeah…well, I'm gonna head home." Sara was tired, and she was upset, and right now crawling into bed was the only thing on her agenda. At least Nick didn't seem to be mad at her, even though he still seemed detached and Sara wasn't sure that she believed in what he was saying. Sara supposed one out of three was better than nothing. She slung her purse over her shoulder and was about to head out when Nick's voice stopped her again.

"Sara…just so you know, you're a horrible liar. I knew you weren't fine even before you said you were."

She turned around. "You're not exactly one to talk." Even if he wouldn't admit it, this case had had an effect on him too, and Sara saw through him just as easily as he saw through her. Usually this would bother her, but Sara found it oddly comforting that Nick could still read her like that.

Nick sighed. "Yeah, I guess not. Look, I don't really feel like goin' out, but if you…I bet I could rustle up some take out menus…" Nick's look was anxious but his words were sincere, and his eyes held a glimmer of something that reminded Sara of the old Nick. It wasn't nearly as bright as Sara wished it was, but it was definitely a start.

It was a small offering, but Sara knew it was the biggest offering Nick was capable of. It was a step back towards normal, and Sara wasn't going to refuse it.

She shot Nick a small smile. "Meet at your place in fifteen?"

Nick returned her smile and stood up, picking up his bag and slinging it over his shoulder. "I'll walk out with ya."

They made it out of the lab and to their cars, running into Warrick on the way, who told them both to get some rest. Nick stood outside Sara's door as she climbed into the driver's seat.

"I know things have been…I mean, I've…Sara, I am trying." It was the first time Nick acknowledged, at least to her, what was going on, and she realized what a big step it was, for him to admit that things had changed.

"I know," she replied simply, smiling at him again. "We're okay."

Nick's eyes searched hers for a moment, and finding the sincerity, he smiled back and headed towards his own vehicle. Sara sat for another moment, before putting the car into drive and pulling out of her space.

For the first time in a long time, Sara actually believed that things were going to be alright.

FIN.


End file.
